Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 11/05/2003 ::

Bald Knob is getting to me. I'm...starting to get the genitickles for a sape. Can you think of anything sicker? Not me. But I can't help it. It goes against everything I believe...hold dear... I found her online. Not only does she blog..but she writes some really steamy prose. She's a saucey minx. A tease. And a hell of a writer.

So yesterday was Erection Day 2003.

I know this will pass. I know that eventually I will stop wanting her to stroke my fur. I will stop wanting to display my boonstick for her. But it begs the question...where will I find love? While sex with Carmel was great, back at the facility, but I can't really love her. She and I, other than being boons, we have nothing in common. And Amy? How the hell would that work. Aprt from being sick...I could never tell her what she means. And all that shit flinging... I'm sure that's a turn on for perpetually anit-shit-metic sapes.

So, sadly, I'm sure love is not for me. I could feed my emotional and intellectual side with an unknowing sape online and then monkey hump the shit out of some baboon. But that is no way to live. It's better that I just realize that I am destined to be a bachelor forever.

Monk with a Laptop.

If you read this, Amy...there's a boon in Bald Knob thinking about you and flinging dung in your honor.

Sorry. I just feel dirty.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 1:22 PM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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