Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 8/28/2003 ::

Doesn't it seem like MICRO SOFT and SOBIG are appropriate enemies?

I am on the move again. My recent habit of getting complacent and staying in one place is going to get me into trouble. The Toro finally killed out a few days ago and I am now on foot again...just as it began. I am heading south east across the lower Dakota, month long visit to the Black Hills over.

It's time to get back to the things I do, blog and bitch.

What is nice is that I have a much easier time hiding during the day without the Toro. But FUCK do my feet hurt. And I've put on a gut!!! Too lazy.

I hunkered down for the night near Scotland, SD. It's a little hole in the wall town, but I won't be here for long. I am sort of vaguely following the Missouri river south. I actually realized that fall and winter will be setting in before long and I'm probably not prepared for that.

And HEY!!! Baboons on the tube!!!! Sierra Mist, one of the chemically laced, bubbly beverages you sapes pour down your fucking throats, is running a TV ad that features, of all things...BOONS! Funny boons to be precise. I'm not going to get all purist about the stupidity of the commercial. I'm just glad to see that we're getting our props! You can actually watch it here.

I think the one that sings is my aunt Esther.

But still, VH1 has been running "I Love The 70's" and one of the episodic features is, guess what, a fucking CHIMP!!! The whole segment features a favorite monkey from what ever year they're riffing on and it's "hosted" by some sell out chimp named Bella. It's so hilarious when Bella eats Light Bright pegs and then they "transcribe"what she is saying. Fuck Bella. I'm sure her leathery chimp digits had to stroke some VH1 pole to get that gig. They're all whore to sapes. All of them. I fucking hate chimps.

I only hope that after the taping, they had to slit Bella open to get back the Light Bright pegs that they paid $150 bucks on eBay for. And I hope her "human like" executive jacking hand is now cupped, collecting cigarette butts.

Stupid chimp.

I promise to not get political...but ARNIE!! Apparently, and this is something I heard and have yet to verify, Mr. Scharzenegger was interviewed decades ago in OUI magazine and talked about dabbling in drugs, orgies etc. I AM SHOCKED! Arnold!...oh...wait a minute...this is California. The rest of the country can be as shocked and appauled as they want to be but it won't matter a snatch to the sapes in California. And they're the ones voting.

All eyes are on California and the whole state dances like a spoiled child made to perform for the holiday relatives. Stop looking and they'll stop dancing.

So I am heading out. We'll talk soon. I should hit the state line in a couple of days. From there my adventure leads me...anywhere.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 11:02 PM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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