:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

:: 10/03/2003 ::

God damn! It's fucking cold! I can't seem to get south fast enough. I am currently huddled in Bolivar, MO. As I write this it is 53 degrees. Which may be nothing to you sapes who have spent the better part of a million years over coming this...we boons aren't that adaptable. So have your little chuckle. But let me tell you something...when it gets bad enough, you'll be surprised what a boon will do.

The other night, I was freezing and fed up with being cold. I walked right in to a 24 hour laudromat. I think my presence was so sudden and it was so late at night that the patrons were simply stunned. I walked in, opened a dryer, took out some clothes and blankets, threw them into a bag and walked out. But the sapes did nothing. They stared, their mouths gaping open. Maybe the saturation of practical joke television has prepped the sape mind for anything. I can only speculate as to what happened after I left.

In any case, I am able to partake of some warmth from my bold move.

I was surfing a few days ago and I came across a disturbing article about Orangutans and how they may die out in the next 10 to 20 years. Here is the article. This frightens me. While I haven't known a single Tan that I liked, I still don't want to see them wiped off the planet. Why oh why couldn't it be chimps?! Nature's sell out - whores. See what happens. While Tans have had more success cracking the sape film market (Witness the Any Which Way But Loose movies), they are still not as successful as the chimp menace. They just flat out don't look as good in sape clothes.

Also, I was surfing the net and it seems I am running for Governor of California and I didn't even know. Why does everybody in the country seem to care about this. Does California realize that it's a joke. A train wreck from which sapes can't look away. Yes you control our minds with your entertainment...but we all know you're fucking out of your bean sprout minds!

I have decided I am heading to the swamps of Louisiana. I think this would provide me with a fairly warm, remote area that would still allow me access to civilization.
I just need to get there soon.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 9:41 AM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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