Monkey with a Laptop


:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 6/13/2003 ::

The dark side of the net has reared its ugly head. I have been contacted by a whacko named Count Percy. He asked for a brain sample for an experiment into regenerating dead tomato plants and creating zombie lawn-care professionals. You can see the message in my forum above. When I declined he vowed to hunt me down and take it by force. Great. Just what I need. Another maniac Sape on my ass. Can't a boon catch a break?

It's so flat here. I am probably tempting fate here by telling you that I am in Nebraska. It's quite a switch from the desert and wilderness of New Mexico and the mountains of Colorado. What a fascinating country. It makes me want to see more. Well, if nothing else, it makes me want to see anything other than Nebraska. I have stopped near the town of Cozad. Nice town. Check it out here

I have had no other contact with any Sapes. Which surprises me because I have become fairly brazen with my stealing. I actually think you people don't see things that don't directly affect you. Like your sape brains fuzz out other peoples concerns. Truck stops and farms are my main source of gasoline and food right now. The nights are still chilly and I miss Carl. He was warm. Christ, that's an understatement. He was a freaking space heater.

Anyway, I now have the creeps from Project Infinite Monkey and this mad jack off Count Percy tracking my movements. Oh well. Bring it on. Bring it all on. I've had my innards tazered with electrodes. Fuck anything else.

Fate? Consider yourself tempted.

:: Eric Peter Schwartz 3:32 PM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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