:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

:: 5/14/2003 ::

Me so freakin' horny!!!

Okay, look. I don't mean to be crude, but I am a baboon and it is spring. One of...actually the only nice thing about time in The Facility was the strictly regimented "mating" program. It was done to keep us more docile, I suppose. Sometimes it was for breeding purposes, mostly though, I think it was to keep us from acting up. I was paired with beautiful "girlboon" named Carmel. I would have brought her with me if it hadn't been so dangerous. I don't think I loved her, intellectually we were at opposite ends of the spectrum. But MAN she was hot. That furry little ho would present herself for mounting and I would go crazy. I don't know if any of you sapes have ever watched Baboons have sex, it's very fierce and quick. So, it was ultimately unsatisfying but Carmel and I did enjoy some snuggling time. The coversation was a dud, but we didn't need it.

So here I sit, goin' crazy wit da horny! And yes I have the ability to...ease the situation. Which brings up something else. I would like to take issue with boysapes calling masturbation "Spanking The Monkey". Apart from the inherent violence in that name...when did "Monkey" become synonymous with "Penis". It's just another, very subtle expression of sape "dominion" over the animalkind. I will agree that my brothers and sisters in Monkeyhood are not the only ones who have been ejacufied. Snakes and dolphins often seem to receive the same type of phallic attention.

Of course I am only lobbying for Primates. If you MUST use animal euphemisms, I have some suggestions: "Jigglin' The Squid", "Pump the Penguin", "The Lion Shwing!", "Wilde my Beast", "Jack Rabbit", "Slappin' the Salamander"...these are just some suggestions. If anybody else has any, please email them to me at runko@bwatersmedia.com . I will be sure to post it. And remember NO MONKEYTALK!! Which brings up why there is a negative stigma about Monkey Business...but I will save that for later.

So I have made it, I believe into Colorado. I am not certain as I have headed deeper into the Sangre de Cristo (Blood of Christ) Mountains and they don't post "Welcome to Colorado" signs up here. I need to get myself a GPS so I can locate exactly where I am. By stolen ride and walking I made my way up through Taos and Questa before turning east into the mountains. Once into the hills I headed north to cross the border into CO. My next stop should be San Luis, Colorado.

So, I am off. Dreaming of Carmel and heading into Colorado, land of free baboons.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 10:10 AM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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