Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 7/01/2003 ::

Okay, here's my question for the day: Why the hell would sapes pay to dress a concrete goose. Here is one example of what I am talking about: LAWN GOOSE DESIGNS. I have come across this in my search for clothes that might cover my ass. Cement lawn geese. I will say that again so it sinks in: CEMENT LAW GEESE. It's not even art. I am all for art, I have been seeing lots of wonderful sculptures on the web. Like the "Visite Virtuelle" at the Louvre website. That's sculpture! Not this. Cement geese are apparently for trailersapes who have slipped up into another tax bracket and graduated from "Little people's butts bending over in the garden". If it were only that simple. Is money so worthless? Is the time you sapes spend toiling away for huge, greedy corporations not worth two shits? Do you lack so much imagination that the only thing you can find to spend your money on is a cement water fowl to display in your yard and (the best part) CLOTHES FOR IT. And I'm not talking about AN outfit, I'm talking about a wardrobe for the little fucker. And these things are everywhere. Especially in middleclass suburbs where womensapes are constantly in need of outlets for self expression. Apparently Dr. Edgar Lawngoose the famous psychologist convinced them that dressing up statues was self expression. And don't get me started on Precious "The Aryan Ideal" Moments.

Okay, you want a conversation piece? I will personally come to your house, sit in your front yard, fertilize your lawn with my own crap...but you have to dress me. Of course not. Why? Baboons will frighten the children. Great. Now rock birds get more respect than me.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 10:06 AM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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