Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 7/14/2003 ::

It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to leave Cozad. This little town gave me my first buzz, my first hangover and my first Fourth of July fireworks. But it's time to move on. I'm the kind of boon who likes to roam around. Perhaps one day I will return to this cozy little place and open a nightclub. I'll call it PRIME 8 HOUSE. It'll play industrial. Or I'll just comeback and watch the good folks from a distance.

I have decided on my destination: The Black Hills of South Dakota.

I left Cozad on Saturday night and I am making my way leisurely north. I am currently squatting outside of Arnold, NE. I swear, these Nebraskans and their websites. I will be spending the night in the "Devil's Den" area. There's definately more to the topography of Nebraska than I thought. I will be on my way again tomorrow. For now, I have food, gas and a modicum of shelter.

I have decided that if I could be any other creature on the planet, I would be a computer virus. The web keeps expanding and expanding to me. My initial reation to the internet was that it was a great place for information. A way for me to find out about the world I had escaped into. Slowly over the month or so my research surfing has dwindled to less and less and I have started getting a kick out of the web. Or angry is the other thing it makes me. But, you sapes seem to be genetically predisposed to self promote (this of course coming from a blog written by a baboon.) I'm fairly certain it's a good thing. It helps celebrate that you are all unique creatures.

And what unique creatures you are.

Today I found a website about the american dream. To come from a country of poverty like Russia to the land of plenty. It's a thrilling story. It is the story of ILL Mitch, a young white rapper who came from the wastes of Russia to rap, ride skateboards and hit a punching bag. While I laughed until I pushed my lower intestine out my asshole, I probably have more in common with ILL Mitch, than not. Unless of course Mitch's site is a huge sham, at which point I would say bravo. I also know that some of you are probably thinking..."runko's sold out. He used to hate us".

I still hate you. But part of evolution is learning to not attack those things you don't understand. And I don't understand you. The most powerful communication tool in the history of creation and ...never mind. You've heard the rant before.

So I'm heading to the Devil's Den area where I plan to kick back with a little poop-n-toss. I did finally take matters into my own hand and let off some of the steam, if you know what I mean. Dr. Boonstroke made a house call. As I have lamented countless times before, there is no monkey porn. I was left to fantisize about my old pumpbuddy Carmel and may I make a recommendation. When you are "running off copies" avoid sitting in a toro driver seat...they aren't built for it.

Talk to you all soon.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 4:21 PM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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