Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 7/10/2003 ::

DAMN! You amerisapes done blow stuffs up real pretty!!

As one fan so beautifully said it, I got to see the spectacle of 4th of July fireworks with "New Eyes". Sure as shit I did. It scared the crap out of me...but it was so pretty. I did celebrate my independence by throwing my own waste at the colorful explosions. Which is still primitive but better than my ancestors who pee on each other and throw rocks at sunlight...I'd say graduating from that is reason to celebrate.

So does the world have it in for Buddys or what?! Perhaps the highly effective United Nations should look into the American instances of Buddycide. Something's going on. Hackett and Ebsen are gone. It's a sad day Buddys. I'll be pissed if the next one is blues legend Buddy Guy. Actually celebsapes seem to be dropping like flies. I wasn't even aware that Strom Thurmon actually legally qualified as alive, but what ever.

I have been reading a lot lately about Transfatty Acids. Apparently these evils exist in processed food that you sapes gobble up and now you will be able to check on the TFA content on your food labels. It all has to do with hydrogen bonding and...I don't really understand but...they're bad. At the same time that TFA are being given a logo and slapped on products, the government is looking into the viability of using hydrogen as a clean fuel source (which really worked well for Das Hindenberg). So, switch on CNN or Fox News soon and you'll start hearing network "consultants" talking about hydrogen like they just fucking discovered it.

And speaking of things that blow up...forged evidence in support of the war in Iraq? Tell me it's not so. Just look at pictures of Rumsfeld after the "shock and awe" started shocking and aweing us. (If you forgot, find it on your Tivo, it wasn't long ago.) The man just can't keep a poker face. He was like baboon throwing shit. Never happier. Not trying to get political, as another species I like to think of myself as "middle of the road". But come this surprising us at all? The media is jumping on this like it's the only altar boy in Boston. They just turned a blind eye because they got in bed...I mean embedded.

I need to get off these soapboxes. However, cut me some slack, this is the government that probed my colon with 1.21 Jigowatts.

:: Eric Peter Schwartz 12:44 AM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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