Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 5/06/2003 ::

So for the last 24 hours I have been trapped on the roof of the Diamond Bar in Winston, New Mexico. Several mountain lions chased me up here last night. I'm waiting for one of locals to take them out before I move on. It's late and fairly cold and the coyotes know I'm up here. There's nothing in this damn town. So I have been charging the LT with some borrowed power from the bar.

The real problem I am having is how to travel quickly with this freaking computer. There's no point in lifting a napsack, I've got no freaking shoulders. Currently I have to carry the damn thing like some insecure 14 year old girl. Try running at full speed like that with a freaking lion on your ass. Especially when your ass is meaty and pink and shiny like mine. I might as well have a neon "Hey Lion Like My Ass?" beer sign duct taped to my rear.

So I have spent much of the day surfing, trying to get into the groove of the modern world. All I really had was the research people at The Facility. I keep trying to find out who Clay is and why I should vote for him. Is he a politician? I have read as many news sites as I can and I am becoming proficient in both cyberglyphics :) ;) :o *g* and those freakin' IM acronyms rotflmao, lol . I have created a few of my own: NRPABILAP (not really paying attention because I'm looking at porn) , IMMBSDH (Instant Massage my ball sack, dick hole) and my favorite LMAOBYDKIAB (laughing my ass off because you don't know I'm a baboon).

So, time to sleep. Hopefully I can make a break for it in the morning. Good night world.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 11:46 PM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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