Monkey with a Laptop

:: Monkey with a Laptop ::

I am a genetically-augmented, highly intelligent Yellow Baboon. In 2003 I escaped from a secret military facility in New Mexico. I lifted this laptop on the way out.
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:: 5/08/2003 ::

Day three comes to an end. I am still trapped on top of the Diamond Bar. I have got to leave soon. I'm getting very hungry. But it has been nice to rest after those first few days on the run. There is a party in the beer garden below. So I spent my day tryng to stay as shaded as possible. I did nip down to the garbage can for a bite to eat. Microwave burrito leavings. Yuck.

After some more surfing today I coined a term. Sapes. This is my term for you homo sapiens. Sapes. I enjoy that. It puts you back in your place. Christ. A little erection and you think you own the planet. Planet of the sapes.

In four hours online I have seen the best and worst in you sapes. A child in Canada who works tirelessly to provide clean drinking water for impoverished nations and MILF Hunter. Guess which one gets more hits. Which I guess is fine. It's all about freedom of choice. I have yet to find a good monkey porn site. But I'm sure it's out there. Somewhere. Drifting like debris on the waters of the net. I did find however a Monkey Club. Sapes who love us cute little monkeys and like to draw them on their text books. Well chimps. Sapes like chimps. ESPECIALLY chimps in people clothes. Fuck us baboons.

Let me tell you something. The chimps I've known in my life, all whiney bitches. Bitch chimps all of them. HAHA look at that chimp. He sniffed his finger and fell out of a tree. Look at that chimp he flapped his lips and an actor provided his voice. Not a single break out baboon that I have managed to find. What? Our snouts are too long? Our hair too frizzy? Our butts show? What the hell is wrong with us? I know what it is...we refuse to whore ourselves out to THE MAN. We refuse to put on a suit and Lancelot Link for you sapes.

Sorry. I promised myself when I started this blog it wouldn't be a political soapbox. Oh well. I'm tired, hungry, cranky and am dying to get the hell out of here. Tomorrow, lions or no lions...I'm getting out of here.
:: Eric Peter Schwartz 12:24 AM [+] comment on runko's post ::
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